Life Archives | Page 8 of 26

The Big, Foolish Idea

March 4, 2014

I went to Baguio thinking it’s my much needed break from a very stressful work life. I thought I’d come back energized and motivated to work. It’s not that my workload is intensely unbearable, but I find myself dreading Mondays and wondering if I really have to go to the office. Everyday is becoming a chore, and it’s not doing any good to my mental and emotional stability. I mope around much more than I should.

I went to Baguio thinking I’ll be refreshed after the short vacation, but it actually worsened what I’m feeling. I now crave to be on the road again and to be away from the computer (unless it’s oppa related, of course). I now wish to be seated in an outdoor cafe feeling extremely cold, yet warmed by a cup of good coffee.

I think my patience is wearing thin. My family has long predicted that I wouldn’t last in an office job, but look at me going on my fourth year as an office worker. I think I’m reaching my limit. I wake up tired and go to sleep tired even on days when I didn’t do much at all. Everyday I feel like doing something drastic just to add a bit of spice in a relatively monotonous lifestyle. This is probably why I choose to kill myself by attending a class three nights a week. At least I have something to look forward to. At least I’m learning something new. [Read more…]

Say Hello to Oh My, Janey!

January 25, 2014

My adam’s apple says hi!

After months of wondering if I can really invest on a domain and a week of pestering my officemate and hours of tweaking the theme and redirecting the old blog, I’ve finally set up my new home online! And this time, I hope that it lasts for years and years and years.

For the last 3 years, I’d been blogging at Nakawtingin (which now redirects here hihi). It was my companion from the first few months right after graduation up until this month. I had the option of leaving it behind and just transferring all my contents here, then deleting that blog. But I opted to transfer all the my files and posts and comments and whatnot AND redirect it to this blog. Nakawtingin’s too close to my heart for me to just disregard it forevaaah.

The most difficult bit is deciding on a domain name (I wanted nakawtingin.com!!!) and coming up with a new blog title. I suck (!!!) at coming up with good and not-cheesy titles. My first choice was From Me to You (Kimi ni Todoke lol) because it sounds romantic or whatever. The second choice was heart of a (fan) girl. Yes, small caps because it’s cute. But it also sounds hella cheesy so I scrapped that. Then that’s when I decided on Oh My, Janey! because I remember my now inactive Tumblr blog ohmydrivel. Actually, Oh My Drivel is a runner-up, too. But I was afraid no one would read my blog because they’ll think I’m just spewing drivel. Mehehe.

So now, I’ll try to embrace Oh My, Janey! even though I will miss Nakawtingin. But you see, I’ve always wanted a domain! But I’m just so lazy and I thought it’ll be really expensive. Good thing it’s not so yay new home! I think the only word that can describe how I feel right now it kilig. I didn’t know I could feel kilig for a blog.

I’m so so so excited to share new adventures with this blog. I’ve always been a blogger, but I have learned to stay away from blogging too much personal stuff haha. Hopefully, I can blog frequently and meet more people. Wish me luck, please! You know how my motivation often runs short. Hehehe.

(Text bubbles source.)

love,

Fourteen Somethings

January 20, 2014

Hello! I think this is the first time in years that I’ll be blogging this late in a month. So many things have happened since my last post and I’ve been busy with work and my Korean class that I barely have time for anything else. My laptop’s also acting weird for the past few weeks so spending time in front of my computer doesn’t come easy. Huhu. But I finally had some time last night to organize this post, yahoo.

My favorite blogger ever, Arriane the Wanderrgirl, proposes an idea of setting a theme for your year. Since I already have little goals listed, I only had to think of a “word” that encompasses everything I want to accomplish this year. And the first word that crossed my mind was INITIATE.

I think it’s a very fitting word for me, because I lack initiative. I’m lazy (and shy) as hell. There are so many things I want to accomplish but most of the time, I fail to move an inch. So this year, I want to take that first step, and keep on taking another step until I achieve what I want. And I really need to want it hard enough to motivate me.

I have 14 goals for this year, because it’s 2014. LOL. But really. It’s not a bucket list, because I think it’s too general to cross out each one. It sounds so many, but I always feel like there’s a ticking bomb I have to beat somehow. Also, I’m already 23, and I haven’t achieved something that I’m proud of. Sadly.

So here’s my over-the-top 2014 goals. I hope to achieve at least one. Dream high, butterfly. Heh.

Pretty much the cause of my quarter-life crisis last year, I just don’t know where I’m going in my life. Believe me, I understand how I can use my three years of experience in SEO to flourish in the field and maybe use it personally. But I’m always seeking for something more. I’m always wondering if I’ll ever get to be a ~writer~. Sometimes, I also miss teaching. I want to know and decide what I really want to be!

I can’t give up writing. I want to go back to teaching. And I don’t think I can ever escape SEO! So this year, I need to somehow find a way to make these three work together! It sounds impossible, but I’ll make it possible. I mean, you can’t be passionate about multiple of things and not find a way to practice all, right? So by the end of the year, I hope I’m no longer moping about my career. I’m sick of hearing myself be so whiny about things I can control. [Read more…]

2013: A Recap

December 31, 2013

It’s sad to end 2013 in such a somber note when the rest of the year had been incredibly great to me.

This year was pretty challenging, because it was the year that I really questioned which direction I want my life to take. Do I want to be a SEO Specialist the rest of my life? Or to be a teacher? Or a writer that I’ve dreamed of since I was young? Or should I consider being a lawyer since that’s everyone but myself seems to want?

It’s the last day of the year, and I still have no answer to the question that bugged me from the very first day. There were actually nights when I cried myself to sleep, because I seem to be heading nowhere. Questioning one’s worth is not exactly the best feeling there is.

But despite my quarter life crisis, I was still happy. I’m surrounded by the most amazing family ever, and I have great friends, old and new. I have Alex. Even though I had low days, I have people who can immediately cheer me up. And it’s sad that I’ll end 2013 with one less important person in my life. It’s something that hasn’t sunk in yet, but hopefully, I’ll get there.

I used to wonder how it would feel to mourn while the rest of the world is high on holiday spirits. Now I know. I wish I still don’t, but here we are.

This year taught me to value my family a lot more than I did before. It also made me realize my role as a daughter, a sister, a cousin, etc. and the responsibilities that come with it. I may not be the oldest among us, but it doesn’t mean I can’t be an ate. I’ve been called bunso all my life, but this year taught me that being a bunso doesn’t mean I should just stand by the sidelines.

This year taught me to be a friend and a girlfriend. Reaching out has always been difficult for me. I don’t want to make my being an introvert as an excuse, so this year I really tried to show up. To have a listening ear and open arms to any friend who actually needs me. And even now, I get surprised to know that there are people who actually need someone like me. It’s great to let people in my life and to accept that I don’t always have to be alone.

I’m not a good person, and my temper often runs short. So I thank the people who put up with me, flaws and all. I thank them because they manage to tolerate my jokes. I say sorry to those who had been on the receiving end of my anger and the horribleness of my teasing.

This year I’ve been to many places and I’ve done a lot of things. But at the heart of it all, I’m most thankful to the people who’ve been with me. To the people I’ve encountered along this roller coaster ride, you’ve made my 2013 a lot more special.

I’ll start my 2014 missing someone. I’ll spend the rest of it cherishing every minute. From here on I’ll make sure to say I love you more often to the people who matter. Hugs will be easily given away, and touches will be shared.

I’m not exactly sure what I want to do in 2014. There are way too many things that are bugging me, and I doubt I’ll have a clear mind by the end of the week. But right now, I just want to be a better person. Life is definitely short, and by next year I just hope that I at least made it better for someone else other than myself.

My new year isn’t very happy, so I hope yours is a lot better than mine.

Christmas Wishlist 2014

December 1, 2013

I didn’t spend much on material stuff this year. Thus, this is probably my longest wishlist to date!

~~White/Chambray button-down shirt~~ – It’s on my list every year, wth. I need a thrift shop visit soon.
~~Yellow Fujifilm Instax~~ – Another one that’s on the list every friggin’ year.
Tohoshinki’s TONE and TIME tour DVDs – So expensive!
Tablet – Any tablet really, as long as it has an expandable memory that I can fill with movies and ebooks.
Platform white Chuck Taylors – Where can I buy one?!
One Piece UNIQLO shirts – It’s no longer available in MOA! 🙁
~~Tony Tony Chopper plushie~~ – I love Chopper. ‘Nuff said.
Bandage skirts – Or skater skirts. Whichever will do.
~~Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl~~ – Also, Neil Gaiman’s Ocean at the End of the Lane, Arthur Conan Doyle’s Complete Sherlock Holmes collection, and so much more.
Fujifilm X-E2 – I NEED a new camera.
Moleskin – Too effin’ expensive. Any notebook that can serve as a journal is okay. Hee.
Ballet flats – A black and a red pair please.
The Daykeeper 2014 – It’s a journal/datebook and it’s so pretty!
Scholarship in Korea – I don’t knooooooow. I really really want it but so many objections lol.
Brazilian Blowout or a Brazilian Keratin treatment, too. My hair needs to be saved from all the frizz. Heuheu.

It probably sounds selfish to still have a materialistic wishlist this year, but I can’t help it! It’s not like I’ll end up having all of these anyway. Most of the time, I only get 1/4 of the things I list down every year. And almost everyone of them I buy with my own money. I don’t mind, though. Wanting things makes me work harder, despite my constant complaints that I don’t like my job. Haha.

Also, I’m perfectly happy as it is. I won’t go moping around if I won’t have any of these in the next year. I mean, my family, friends and boyfriend are more than enough to be happy. I can travel from time to time, and I get to watch as many Korean dramas and movies, too! The only thing left I can really wish for is a career I can love. A career, not just a job. But I’m trying to take little steps to achieve that. This year is the most I’ve been writing, really writing, what I want since I graduated from high school.

Anyway, enough about me. What do you want for Christmas? 🙂