The Bests of Last Year

2012 was a lot of things, but most of all, it was awesome.

I barely crossed out anything on my to-do list for last year, but I still can’t help but feel that on 2012, I experienced more amazing things than ever. I can never rate my year or to quantify it’s awesomeness, but I can tell you that I never felt this thankful, this blessed before.

My online accounts have been sending a review of my 2012 but it barely captured what I’d been up to. Oh, I’m still in my old job, I’m still a fangirl, still a simpleton. But I can at least say that I have changed in some ways, in good ways. Tons of eye-openers have happened this year and tons of misfortunes. Sometimes I still wish I can change them but I can’t, so I take them for what it is and try to find a good in what happened. And it’s never easy to be optimistic when my  instinct tells me to shut down everybody and wallow in self-pity. So this has been quite an amazing year, because I am surrounded by amazing people who remind me that there are still a gazillion reasons to be happy.

This year, I did (and didn’t do) a lot of things. So let’s start with the pretty obvious.

Last year, I fangirl(ed).

After n years, I finally know that I am back in the fandom. I didn’t do a lot of fangirl-ing back in college because working for a community newspaper and writing my thesis ate too much of my time. I slowly crawled my way back into the KPOP fandom after college, and finally, I arrived. (I swear I didn’t intend to make that sound so dramatic. Heh.) I think it was when I attended CASSPH’s 9G last February that made me want to return to being a rabid fan. And I did.

This year, I got into so many fandoms and made some of my fangirl dreams come true! This year, I seriously felt numerous times that I’m the luckiest fangirl ever. Thank you very much.

March, I saw HwangBo at the airport and watched a shooting of Muhan Girls. April, I visited the land of Kdramas and cried to my heart’s content. May, I got to see Ian Somehalder at MoA even though I’m a bigger Paul Wesley fan. June, I went to HongKong and fulfilled my dreams of seeing ChangMin TVXQ in person! I also got to see CNBLUE that time, and bunch of other artists. But it’s TVXQ and CNBLUE that are the most important ones, okay. October, Big Bang had a concert in the country and of course I was there! And I realize I haven’t properly blogged about it yet. November, Lee MinHo held a fan meeting and a meet and greet, and  I was at both events. I got to shake hands with him, too! I also chased him at the airport and touched his back but I swear I’m not a perv.

I did tons of fangirl-ing in front of my laptop, too. A year after I watched YongSeo‘s stint on We Got Married, I’m still a very heavy shipper of the two. This year, I also became an avid fan of Running Man and I still don’t know which one’s my favorite cast. It’s a close match among KwangSoo, Gary and JaeSuk. Halp. I can’t decide. I am also in love with Bang SungJoon through his drama Shut Up: Flower Boy Band a.k.a. my favorite drama for the year 2012 and maybe my favorite drama since ever.

Most importantly, I can prouldy say once again that I am a Cassiopeia. I was quite inactive over the past few years, but this year, I am a Cassie through and through. I have already accepted that TVXQ today is just YunHo and ChangMin. I am a fan of the old DBSK but no hoping and wishing can bring the five together unless the five make the conscious choice to drop everything, to forget about contracts and responsibilities and dreams and goals, just to be together. And I know that’s not the easiest thing in the world. I know they can’t easily be 5 again. So now, I’ll support TVXQ. I’ll support YunHo and ChangMin and just back them up with whatever they wish to do in the future. 🙂

I also watched 9 Korean dramas and 56 Asian movies. Uhm, I seriously didn’t think I watched that many movies! Hehe. Anyway, I didn’t bother counting the non-Asian thing I watched hrhr.

But you know what’s amazing about all this fangirl-ing? I made so many fangirl friends and converted a couple of friends into fangirls! So I don’t just get kilig out of all these craziness, I also get friendship, and that’s more than I could wish for.

Last year, I went places.

Sadly, I didn’t get to visit all the countries and provinces I said I’d visit. But at least I got to the one place I’ve been dying to visit since I was in high school.

Last April, I went to South Korea with my parents and that’s one of my best trips ever! It’s the first time we went out of the country together and I’m just happy to see my parents having fun, to see them not worry and get stressed about work for five days! Then on May, we also had an out-of-town trip at Tagaytay and Nasugbu! Now that I think about it, I haven’t blogged or posted pictures of that trip. Heh. And for our Maundy Thursday adventure, we even reached Candelaria, and that’s a first!

I also tried mountain climbing for the first time last May! Some of my officemates and I climbed Pico de Loro at Cavite, and I still cringe when thinking about it. It was the most exhausting day of my life, but I had a few good laughs about it now. On June, Haszelle and I flew to Hong Kong to fangirl! But we did a lot of touring, too. It was my second time in HK but I still got to visit tons of new places. I’m not sure if this can count but I also went to Subic this December! 🙂

Now that I think about it, I only went on a few trips this year but each one is as special as the next. I have quite a few plans for next year and I wish everything will push through. I’m crossing my fingers here!

Last year, I didn’t read (much).

Blame it on my fangirl-ing or my gimiks(?!), but I barely had time to read this year, and that’s truly quite sad. Since I already know that I won’t be able to read as much as 2011, I only set a goal of 40 books for 2012. And I only got to read 24 books this year! That’s a far-cry from the 53 books I read on 2011. It’s sad but I just console myself into thinking that at least I could still read. It’s something that I have known for a long time, though. When I obsess over Koreans, my reading takes the backseat. It’s something that’s been happening since high school, so I should know.

Nevertheless, I have read tons of good books last year. I think I’ll make a proper post about it one of these days. I miss talking about books, so I’ll try to write more about it.

Last year, I blogged.

Not much on this blog, and I regret that very much. I have so much backlog for this blog such as my Hong Kong trip with Haszelle, my many meetings with Lee MinHo, and even other mini-trips and events with family and friends! But this year, I made two new blogs that I update irregularly. Haha!

Last May, I started Asian Fixation because I felt like my Asian tumblr wasn’t enough to contain my Asian feels. Haha. It’s a great writing escape from all the writing I do for work. There, I could rant about any movie, drama and my love for ChangMin without having to worry about anything! Haha. But seriously, it’s such a great outlet for my bursting fangirl heart. I don’t update it as much as I hope, though. I still have some problems dealing with my attention span and time management skills.

The other blog I started is The Sloppy Mess! It’s my feelingerang fashion blog because I read too many fashion blogs and sometimes, I just want to copy their way of posing. Haha! I’m thinking of shutting it down, though, since I barely post these days! But I’ll probably move all my delusional posing to Oh My Drivel because that’s my more personal Tumblr. Heh.

Anyway, I wish I blogged here more, maybe next year! Things have become too busy and I am not that good at reacting well to changes. Hehe.

Last year, I made friends…

…and remembered that I do have friends.

For some weird reason, I have always considered myself as an introvert who has difficulty making friends and keeping them. It is true, because I sometimes have the mindset “Out of sight, out of mind.” But last year, I just started missing people, and I just wanted to be a better friend. I know I am lacking in many departments but I just want to be a better friend. If I can’t be a better person, then I wish to at least be a better friend to people who have always been there for me. I know I’m not the easiest person to befriend since I don’t easily open up. So I am thankful to everyone who tried to get to know me. I am lucky, indeed!

Last year, I learned not to give up on friendship and to hold on to what little is left. Last year, I learned to believe and trust and to know that I have friends and I should stop thinking that I don’t! And I want to keep this attitude for a long, long time, and to never look back. I’m crossing my fingers for a 2013 full of wonderful friendship. Hee.

And today’s 2013.

I am happiest right now, for reasons that I can never put into words. I love and I am loved, and sometimes it’s enough. Right now.

But of course, there are still some things I want in life that I know can only happen if I put enough effort into it. For example, career-wise I still am pretty confused. I thought I’d get my shit together last year but I didn’t move an inch! But I really, really hope I’d be decided this year! So, is it to write or to teach? Decide, Jane, because you don’t have forever, you know.

And today, I say goodbye to my 2012 and to the memories that will forever be with me. I say thank you to my family who accepts me for who I am, weird habits and all. I say thank you to new and old friends who I can always, always rely on. I say thank you to he most patient boyfriend ever, who supports me in every mess I get myself into. And to the people I will meet this year, I say hello to you in advance. Be prepared for some wackiness.

It’s only the first day of the year, so I won’t put too much pressure on myself. As for today, I’d eat and chat and blog and watch stuff and just spend the day with my family! I’ll worry for the rest of 2013 tomorrow. 🙂