I cannot (and wouldn’t) count the number of times people tell me that I’m the happiest person they know. I am also told that I appear to have no problems and just look genuinely happy all the time. Sometimes I want to agree with them. Sometimes, I even think I’m the happiest person I know. Then I meet great and inspiring individuals, and suddenly, being the happiest person alive isn’t so wonderful after all.
Don’t get me wrong. Being happy is good. Great, even. However, these people I know aren’t just happy, they’re strong. That’s what I am not. I know I’m happy but I do not know if I’m strong, strong enough to take on anything that life will throw at me. I’ve been so protected all my life by the people around me–my parents, friends and even Alex. I somehow feel like I’ve never been hurt enough or sad enough to truly know how it is to be happy. I am not asking to feel pain or to suffer. I’m just saying that I’m not sure whether I’d be able to take it if something bad or sad happens to me. I truly don’t know.
These past few years I’ve met so many people who have endured so much. I know someone who had her heartbroken due to her cancelled wedding plans yet she’s managing to smile and be happy everyday. I have a friend who recently suffered a loss and she’s coming out so strong. I can’t help but admire her courage. I once met this person who fought cancer and won. I never met anyone as happy as her.
It made me think that 10 years from now, I want to be nothing but strong and happy. I just feel like happy people are so easy to break. Maybe that’s why people around me protect me from all the possible dangers and heartbreaks of this world. I am thankful, really. I am more than thankful.
When the time comes that I have my own battle to fight, I want to come out victorious, too. I want to come off it stronger and more courageous. I’ll just think of all the people who bravely fought to be happy again and the people who continuously fight everyday. I want to be like them.
I will aspire to be like them.
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