Seven years ago, I desperately wanted to buy a bracelet like this. I first saw it worn by DBSK on their Hug performances. I was a new fan. They’re a new Korean boy band. I was new into KPOP. They were my first Korean obsession.
That time, I was a third year high school student with no internet connection at home. Every weekend, I would spend hours at an internet shop, ogling at their pictures and memorizing the littlest facts about them. I’d save all their pictures in a measly floppy disk. Of course it wouldn’t be enough. There’s just too many good photos to save.
Seven years later, I already graduated from high school and college, and I am already working. Yet, I’m still the girl who cried over the phone while spilling to her best friend how much she’s hurting because of a stupid breakup rumor. I’m still the girl who’d randomly sing Korean songs and stupidly imitate their dance steps. I still have the same dreams about my idols. But the fervor has gone. My life no longer revolves around the five. I am no longer obsessed with their every activity.
What hasn’t changed is my love for the boys. Maybe I do not buy all their albums. I’m sorry if I’m one of the poor fans. Maybe I do not memorize all their songs, and maybe I do not understand Hangul. But it still doesn’t change the fact that I love DongBangShinKi with all my fangirl heart. I still pray for their safety and for their success. My heart still aches when a member cries. My heart still smiles when a member laughs.
I am keeping the faith. Though the five of them are currently not together, I am still keeping the faith. I am keeping the faith in their friendship. I just believe with my fangirl heart that no matter what happens, the five of them will be friends. I believe that somehow, someday, the five of them will find a way to be together again. And all Cassies, no matter where they are and how much they have lost faith, will go back to this fandom. Because really, this is a fandom you just can’t leave behind.