It was awkward. We’d been exclusively dating for a few months then but to be seen on Valentine’s Day together was like admitting to the world that yes, I like him but no, we aren’t a couple. It was awkward for me because I still wasn’t allowed to date then but there I was breaking rules. It was awkward because I was scared that someone I know would see us and tattle on my sister who’d then tell my parents. It was awkward but I regret nothing.
He picked me up at my dorm, with a bouquet of roses.We spent our Valentine’s in silence. We ate dinner at Big Dad’s, and though we usually talk a lot, that day it seemed like no one knew what to say. After dinner we went to the UPLB Feb Fair to watch some shows. Maybe Star in Carillon. Or Gorgeous 20. Even then we just watched and only talked a little. I started panicking when my mother called, and I know that I could no longer keep a secret. That time, only my sister in my family knew that I already have someone. That night, I knew I finally had to tell my parents.
And my little confession resulted to a lot of scolding. Tons of it.
My mother told me that I shouldn’t easily give my full trust to a boy. She said that when going in a relationship, it’s better to be smart. She said she doesn’t want me to get in a relationship when I was still so young since she didn’t want my heart to break. She was afraid that going through heartbreak at such an early age would make me turn my back from love.
That was five years ago.
Through all my parents’ constant reminders, I have found a boy who doesn’t break make my heart and only makes it a lot happier. For the past five years, Alex has been my Valentine, and I’m glad to say that every Valentine’s Day just gets a lot better.
Alex is my Valentine, and I kind of hope that he’ll be my Valentine for more and more years. After all, he’s the one that I trust, and the one that I hope would never break my heart. Don’t worry, I promise not to break his heart, too. We have gone from those two awkward teenagers to two adults (?!) who just find comfort and ease with each other. Before I got into the relationship, I told Alex that everything was still new to me, not having prior clues on how exactly it is to be in one. He needed to understand that I would stumble and there would be things I would not understand. He accepted that and walked with me through everything. He also had to accept that I may be ready to be in a relationship, but my parents were having a difficult time. And he had to patient, he still has to be patient.
I still stumble. He does, too. But we walk hand in hand, and we make each other understand. We have reached the point that we know that being a couple is not just about giving gifts and saying sweet things to each other. Those things are nice, and little tokens and sweet nothings still make my heart skip a bit. But the fact that I know that he’s here, he’ll always be here is enough to make me feel happy and blessed every single.
Valentine’s Day may be way too commercialized, but I don’t mind celebrating it still. It’s not like it’s the only time of the year we act lovey-dovey to each other. Oh wait, we don’t act like that even today!
So dear Alex, thank you for being the best cheerleader and partner and making everyday feel like Valentine’s Day. Yihee.