Once upon a time I camwhored alone. I had someone to camwhore with but he was unwilling to take photos with me. He had made a lot of excuses but none of it made sense. I wonder how he could be so unwilling to take photos when I would always catch him looking at his reflection everywhere. On a mirror, on side mirrors of car, on car windows, on store windows, pretty much everywhere that shows his reflection. Then one day I found out that when I’m not looking, he even looks at his reflection on my Photo Booth! Turns out it’s actually okay for him to take photos as long as he can see himself in the process. Thus, our camwhoring began.
It wasn’t easy at first. He had to be in the mood before we could take photos. We had a lot of failed attempts like this:
Through time and practice, we took numerous of decent photos that got a lot of Facebook likes for reasons unknown to both of us. At first I had to ask his permission before I could post his photos. We even got into an argument once (or twice or a hundred times) when I posted some of our photos without his permission. But I am hardheaded and eventually, he gave in. He no longer cares and even posts the photos himself.
I consider it as a little triumph that I can make him smile and pose in front of the camera without having to threaten or force him. (Of course there are times when I want to push him off an elevator when he wouldn’t want to take a photo with me.) Sometimes, I like to fool myself in believing that he’s a different person when he’s with me. But I do know that I’m one of the few lucky ones who see all of his sides.
Contrary to a lot of people’s belief, we’ve only been officially together for a year. One really good year. But it wasn’t just a year, really. It was four years of waiting, guessing and being altogether happy. It wasn’t exactly an easy four years but it’s been the best four years of my life so far. I’m not just saying that, too.
I know that putting a title on one’s relationship isn’t everything but it felt nice when I could finally call him my boyfriend. Maybe it is the selfish part of me that’s talking, but I really like how I can say, that somehow, I can have him exclusively. It has been a really, really good year. It’s amazing how I could be this happy. You know that feeling as if you’re about to burst because it’s as if you can’t contain so much happiness at once? I feel that everyday. I am everyday overwhelmed with happiness because I have someone like him.
I am not the most religious person on earth. I admit that I always find myself desperately trying to feel His presence. But when I am with Alex, I understand that God is there because how else could I be so blessed? How could I have someone like him in my life if He’s not there? It is also Alex who constantly reminds me to pray and helps me understand all my doubts about my faith.
I guess I’ll forever be thankful. This has been a really happy year. I feel really blessed, indeed.